


Pick Your Own Squid

by patchfire, raving_liberal



Series: Story of Three Boys [132]
Category: Glee, Rambling Wrecks
Genre: College, Gen, Jerk Boyfriends, Mild Violence (Which Is Completely Called For), Sexist Language, Unstable People
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 23:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2288168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchfire/pseuds/patchfire, https://archiveofourown.org/users/raving_liberal/pseuds/raving_liberal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the summer of 2041, Dave Karofsky gets a call.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick Your Own Squid

**Sunday, July 14th, 2041: Karofsky Residence, Atlanta**

“David, can you get the phone?” Casey calls out from the kitchen. “I’m shredding the chicken for Martin.”

Dave shakes his head a little and reaches for the phone without glancing to see who’s calling. “Hello, this is Dave,” he says as he answers. 

“Karofsky!” Hudson’s voice comes through the phone. “How’s Atlanta treating you? Hot as balls?”

“That’s one way to put it,” Dave says, a little surprised. “How’s it going?”

“Who is it? If it’s Miles, tell him no, I am _not_ going to that restaurant where you pick out your own squids!” Casey says loudly.

“It’s not Miles!” Dave calls back, shaking his head and covering the phone. “Sorry about that,” he says as soon as he moves his hand. 

“It’s fine. I know how it is,” Hudson says. 

“Anyway, how are you? What’s up?” 

“Doing pretty good. Charlie and Harv got your graduation gifts, by the way. I think Harvey actually wrote thank you notes, but it’s hard to keep Charlie on one task that long,” Hudson says. 

Dave chuckles. “She’s got a wild hair, doesn’t she? Seems like I remember thinking that years ago.” 

“She’s got a wild everything!” 

“Keeps you on your toes?” Dave asks. 

“I don’t think I’ve had a solid night’s sleep since she turned thirteen,” Hudson says, laughing. “Actually, she’s the reason I’m calling you.”

“Yeah?”

“She got into the Savannah College of Art and Design in Atlanta, and she’ll be flying down in August. I was hoping you or Casey might be able to pick her up at the airport. She says we aren’t allowed to fly down with her under pain of death.”

Dave chuckles again. “Yeah, we can do that. Doesn’t want to be caught with family around?”

“She’s even finding her own apartment, looking on one of those find-a-roommate sites or something,” Hudson say. “I just don’t want her all alone in a new city, you know? Maybe you or Casey could check in with her every once in a while, make sure she looks like she’s eating and hasn’t gotten any facial branding or whatever it is kids are doing these days.”

“Sure,” Dave says. “Hey, I know. _She_ can go with Miles Brown to that restaurant Casey won’t go to.” 

“God, she’d love that. Can you imagine her and Miles Brown together in one place?”

“I’ll warn the rest of the city now,” Dave says. 

 

**Tuesday, August 13th, 2041: Atlanta International Airport, Atlanta**

Dave has seen pictures of Charlie, of course, but he still isn’t prepared for how tall and lanky she is, standing on the curb near baggage claim. “I guess you can tell she’s a Hudson,” Dave says to Casey as they pull up. “Except for the blonde hair.” 

“She looks like a valkyrie,” Casey says. He rolls down his window and calls out, “Charlotte Hudson-Hummel?”

“Casey Karofsky?” Charlie replies, leaning over to peer through the window at him.

“Yes, that’s me!” Casey says. “I’ll help you with your bags.”

“Nah, thanks, I got it,” Charlie says, opening the back door of Dave’s car and shoving her bags through it one at a time, before climbing in after them. “It’s my job. Thanks for the lift.”

“Not a problem,” Dave says as he pulls away from the curb, a little surprised at how very much like a New Yorker she sounds. “Do you have the address of your apartment?”

“It’s in Piedmont Village. Yonah, off 15th. It looks like old-fashioned townhouses,” Charlie says. 

Dave nods. “I know where you’re talking about. The newer development, right?” 

“Yeah, they’re only a year or two old, which is good, ‘cause fewer roaches,” Charlie says. “I mean, any apartment’s gonna have ‘em.”

“Hmm. Not so much down here as up there, I think,” Casey says. “Only, um. Dave, you should probably tell her about the palmetto bugs.”

“What’s a palmetto bug?” Charlie asks.

"A big black roach-like bug," Dave admits. "With wings."

“A roach with wings? Seriously?” Charlie snorts like she doubt the veracity of that story. 

"You'll see, sooner or later," Dave says, remembering his own surprise the very first time he saw one.

“Yeah, sure I will. I bet it’ll fly right at me,” Charlie says. 

“It might,” Casey say. “You should be careful. They come in for water when it’s hot.”

Dave nods, chuckling to himself as he drives. “One roommate, or more than one?” 

“Just one. I’ve talked to her. She has a boyfriend, but he lives on campus at his school.”

“You’ve probably got about a 50-50 chance of lucking out,” Dave says. 

“Oh, it’ll be fine,” Charlie say. “I’m hard to spook. I’m a Hudson-Hummel.”

 

**Thursday August 29th, 2041: Karofsky Residence, Atlanta**

“Case, grab that last bowl?” Dave asks. “Charlie, go ahead and sit down.” 

“Thank for having me for dinner. I’ve been eating food straight out of the microwave for the last two weeks,” Charlie says. 

“We have banana pudding,” Casey says.

“Banana-flavored pudding?” Charlie asks. “We mostly have the chocolate kind at home, ‘cause of Papa, obviously.”

“No, the pudding is vanilla. It’s layered, like a trifle,” Dave explains. 

“Oh. Okay, yeah, sounds pretty tag,” Charlie says, nodding her head. When she looks down at her plate, Casey mouths “tag?” to Dave. Dave shrugs and sits down. He doesn’t know why ‘tag’ is the word she uses, either, which is probably a sign that they are getting old and out of touch. 

“So classes are good? Roommate?” Dave asks. 

Charlie shrugs. “Her boyfriend moved in. I don’t care for him overly much.”

“I thought he lived on campus,” Casey says. He offers Charlie a bowl of salad. 

“Yeah, I thought so, too, but now he’s _there_ all the time. Major creeper.”

“He’s not causing you any problems, is he?” Dave asks, frowning. 

Charlie shrugs again. “He’s just always there, and he smells like crazy.”

“What does crazy smell like?” Casey asks.

“Like crazy,” Charlie says. “I know crazy when I smell it, and he reeks like crazy.”

Dave nods; he’s always said he knows it when he sees it, so he supposes someone could smell it. “I’m sure you don’t need us to remind you not to get on the wrong side of crazy.” 

Charlie shrugs dismissively. “Nah, it’ll be fine. I’m like two inches taller than him, anyway.”

Dave chuckles at that, because he doesn’t doubt it. “Being tall does come in handy sometimes,” he agrees.

“Tall is an arbitrary term,” Casey says. “Height is entirely relative.”

“Yeah, and my relatives are tall, too,” Charlie says.

 

**Wednesday September 25th, 2041: Karofsky Residence, Atlanta**

Dave answers the phone as he usually does, without checking to see who’s calling. “Hello, this is Dave.” 

“Dave? This is Charlie.” Charlie is whispering, and Dave can also hear that she’s crying. 

“Charlie? What’s wrong?” Dave asks, immediately sitting up straight. 

“Can you come get me? Not Casey. You.”

“Okay, yeah,” Dave says as he stands up. “What’s going on? Is it your roommate’s boyfriend?” 

“He smashed my phone deck. I’m locked in the bathroom.” She sniffles. “I think he’s in the living room. I can hear the tv.”

“Stay in there,” Dave says as he picks up his keys. “Case, I’ll be back,” he says quickly, then mouths ‘Charlie’. “Stay in there, it’ll take me ten minutes or so.” 

“I’ll get the guest room ready,” Casey says quietly.

“Thank you, Dave. Thank you,” Charlie say. 

Dave instructs Charlie to call one of her dads while he drives, then hangs up. When he gets to Charlie’s apartment, he knocks loudly on the door, hoping that the person watching television hears the knock over the volume. When no one answers, Dave tries the door, and it swings open. 

He walks in and glares at the young-looking kid that he assumes is the roommate’s boyfriend. “Charlie?” he calls as he walks over to the television and turns it off manually. 

“I’m in here!” Charlie yells from behind the door to what must be the bathroom. 

“Hey, you can’t just walk in here,” the roommate’s boyfriend says. 

“I was invited,” Dave says, still glaring. “Did you call your dads, Charlie?” 

“Yes!” Charlie call.

“Are you that bitch’s boyfriend?” the roommate’s boyfriend ask. “I shoulda figured she’d be the sugar daddy type.”

“Watch your mouth!” Dave says, then starts to chuckle at the idea. “Get your stuff, Charlie. Casey’s getting the top layer of dog fur out of the guest bedroom.” 

The bathroom door creak open, Charlie standing in the doorway. At first Dave thinks she has blood running down her face, but then he realizes it’s magenta, and blood isn’t usually hot pink, which means it’s probably just her weird eye makeup running. 

“If I leave any of my stuff, it’s just gonna get stolen or smashed,” Charlie says.

“We’ll take it all with us,” Dave says. “Okay?”

“That fucking creeper broke my vase!” Charlie say, her voice getting louder as she talks. “And then he tried to grab my ass! I kicked him, and that’s when he smashed my phone deck.”

“It was hangin’ out there like an invitation,” the boyfriend says. “Sasquatch wears those weird short dresses that she’s way too tall for.”

Charlie laughs in a studied manner that reminds Dave of young Kurt Hummel. “Do you know who you’re talking to? This is Dave Karofsky, former linebacker, and my Dad always says he was the best offensive lineman he ever played with, and my _Dad_ played for the _Bears_!”

Dave winces a little, because first of all, he’s going to have Charlie and Casey in the same house, and secondly, he’s not sure someone could remind him of Kurt Hummel any more than Charlie does in that moment. “Just get your stuff, Charlie,” he says. 

As Charlie walks back towards her bedroom, she leans towards Dave and whispers, “Dad said he’d send you a gift basket if you roughed him up a little.”

“I bet,” Dave mutters back, then stares at the kid. “You want to give me any excuses?”

“Excuses for what, bro? She’s just another crazy bitch blaming everybody else for her problems.”

“Yeah, that’s a good excuse for me to do this,” Dave says, striding over to the kid and grabbing him by the back of the neck as he swings the kid into the doorframe. “Me and her dad did something like this once,” he says conversationally. “Shame he has to miss it. Maybe he can fly down and we’ll do it again? She wasn’t lying, by the way. Her dad _did_ play for the Bears. Quarterback.” 

“Listen, man,” the kid says, sounding panicked. “I know what she told you, but she’s just making shit up. I didn’t touch any of her stuff. I swear!”

“Charlie might have questionable taste in cosmetics, but she’s not a liar,” Dave says, swinging the kid into the other side of the doorframe. “Name ‘Bluebird’ ring a bell, or is that too far before your time?” 

“Just let go of me! I’ll clear out until you leave. You don’t have to do anything crazy!”

“Yeah, you’ll clear out,” Dave agrees. “And you’ll give Charlie cash to cover what you broke, right now before you leave.” 

“Okay! There’s cash in my jacket pocket!” the kid says, gesturing at the jacket on the sofa. 

“Good. Get outside, and I’ll bring you your jacket,” Dave says, pushing the kid towards the door. 

“Fine, man, fine! Just get that crazy bitch and go!”

Dave sucker-punches the kid in the stomach before walking towards the sofa. “You need to learn better language, kid,” he almost growls, taking the entire wad of cash out of the jacket pocket before throwing it at the kid. 

“I have everything I give a shit about,” Charlie declares from the hallway. She walks into the living room with a bag over her shoulder, a rolling bag in one hand, and a large portfolio folder under the other arm. 

“Let’s go, then,” Dave says, and as they walk to Dave’s car, he hands her the wad of cash while they’re still in the kid’s sight. “This is yours now.” 

“Yeah? That’s tag,” Charlie says. “Thanks, _Uncle_ Dave.”

Dave waits until Charlie and her bags are in the car before getting in, and he gives the kid a final glare as he pulls out. “You’re sure you got everything?” 

Charlie nods, but then her face crumples and she starts to cry, slumping forward in the seat. “I shouldn’t have come here. I just want to be with Harvey.”

Dave doesn’t really know what to say to that, so he just nods awkwardly and navigates back to Peachtree. “Call your dads again when we get there, okay?” he finally says. 

“Okay,” Charlie say, through her tears and sniffles.

Dave hands her a tissue when they stop at a red light, and it takes longer to get back than it did to get there. “It’ll be okay,” he finally says. “Good night’s sleep, and you’ll be able to figure it all out.” 

Charlie nods. “Thanks, Dave. Thanks for coming to get me.”

Dave grins a little. “Don’t mention it. Your dad was the only quarterback who ever thanked his linemen for keeping him upright.”

“Dad’s a good guy,” Charlie say. “But you and Casey are, too.”

“Thanks,” Dave says. “I just have one question. How do you feel about pick your own squid?”


End file.
